Don't bully me into something I am not. I've been bullied all my life and I’ve had enough now. I don't want this anymore. I never really knew what it meant to say: 'If you don't love/like me for who I am then you don't deserve to be with me.' But it makes sense to me know. After all this time.
I am what I am and I am great the way I am - with all my faults and imperfections. I am unique and I am me.
Helga. Helkele. And that's it, really.
I am not this meeky little thing anymore – well of course I am still me but my core is protected now and I can stretch my spine and stand up straight and breathe a bit more freely.
The boots weren’t for me after all. I break in the boots and not the other way around. And when they don’t fit and hurt my feet I will not wear them anymore. It’s simple, really. And it took just one little comment of yours, K, – most likely unintentionally – to make me realize that if you don’t like me as a whole then you don’t like me at all. You don’t get to just like my hair or just my eyes or just my butt. In this case it’s all or nothing. And you chose nothing. I chose me.
Unfortunately, it cost me a few tears but I suppose that is how you (literally) get things out of your system.
I will try hard not to look for the good in people anymore, but rather want to try to recognize it when they reveal it to me. (Sometimes I don’t see it because it is too obvious. I am so used to having to dig things up or to fight for things...) When people don’t show it it’s probably not there. Because why would you want to hide your goodness from others? I don’t want to try to heal other people anymore but rather I will nurture myself and make sure that all the love I feel is passed on to the right person who deserves it. This is promise I make to myself and I intend to keep it. xxx
